Crazy people

A doctor in psychiatry wanted to test his patients

(all crazy) when he drew a door on the wall and a

asked to enter. All mad attacked the door

open except for one who stayed away from them laugh.

The doctor asked him why he laughed. The fool says, these

People are crazy!

Doctor: Why?

The madman because the keys are with me.

Memory loss

A guy shows up at the doctor:

- Doctor, I came to see you because I have memory loss.

What can I do?

- Pay me in advance.

Good and bad news

At the hospital, in the ICU. a patient

gradually regaining his senses:

- Where am I?

- You're in the hospital in intensive care.

- What happened to me?

- There was a scramble in the subway and you spent under

a train.

- So what? ? !

- And then I have good news and bad news. which

hear first you want?

- The bad.

- The bad news is that your legs were

so filthy that you had to amputate both.

- Oh no! This is not true! Shit! My legs ... And what is

the good news?

- There's a guy in a room next door which was a very good

offer for your shoes.

Mental diarrhea

A woman visits a doctor:
- Doctor I have mental diarrhea.
- That is to say?
- Whenever I have an idea, this is crap!

Bad news

The doctor says to his patient:
- I have bad and very bad news for you
announce.
- Start with the bad.
- I received the results of your tests. The analysis clearly indicates
that you do not have more than two days to live.
- 2 DAYS!! OH MY GOD THIS IS HORRIBLE, it is
incredible! And you say you have a new
worst to tell me?
- Yes, it's been since yesterday I'm trying to reach you for you
announce ...

ready

When a man says he is ready to

go, that means it is ready to go.

When a woman says she is ready to

go, that means it WILL ready

once it has found its second

earring, she has finished

refine its makeup, it will

chooses from among its twenty

pairs of shoes ...

The cannibal chief

The cannibal chief raises lid

the pot from time to time, and

a huge fork, he throws the guy who

is being cooked!

- But finally! said another cannibal!

Leave him at least peace!

We already cares in broth, so if

more on the torture ...

- What? But you do not see it in

currently eat all the rice!

cannibals

A scientist studying a village

cannibals. Wanting to engage

conversation with a little girl holding

a child in his arms, he asks:

- He's cute, he's your little brother?

- No, it's my lunch!

woman and a hurricane

What is the common point between
woman and a hurricane?
When it comes, it's hot and humid,
when it goes, it is with your car and
your house.

letter

A crazy writing a letter. The director himself
request:
Who do you write?
  To me.
And what do you put?
I do not know, I Headmaster
have not received it yet!